The following things happened recently. And will happen again. It's life. And it's alright.
-You walked out the door with one eye of makeup done and the other one completely bare. It probably slipped your mind when....
-You heard a crash from your girls bedroom followed by a shout of "I'm NUMB!" Immediately your mind went there and assumed she fell and is now paralyzed when in all actuality she tried to balance her cup of cold milk onto a stack of puzzles and it spilled on her bare leg. Cold=numb too, hun.
-You thought that new recipe on Pinterest called for sour cream? Did it taste a little off? Yeah, because it needed cream cheese.
-Remember to always ALWAYS double check who you're texting. Because when you were bantering back & forth with your husband and lovingly called him chubby tits (yes, this is how we talk to each other. this is our sense of humor), you sent it to your mother in law. And then gasped and could.not.type.a.reply.faster.*
-Remember when you thought you'd get the Kroger cheap brand of diapers because you are tired of buying them, only had a ten on you, and couldn't resist the sale on wine? Those leak. And Emily looooves juice. You'll need that wine after all the urine cleaning.
-Your husband restocked the diaper bag. You thought you tossed those shoddy diapers, but you didn't. They're in there. Best of luck at Target, in the storage aisle, solo, with the extra pair of pants conveniently missing from the diaper bag.
-Dustin had MLK day off and you had to work. To be nice to your husband, you got dressed in the dark so he could sleep. Did I also mention you were running late? And grabbed black undies to wear under your white scrub pants? Stay klassy.
Don't worry....I'm sure this all went unnoticed. Highly doubtful, but it's fun to pretend isn't it?
Good friggin' luck.
P.S. You didn't think to check if Brookie's school was on a winter delay this morning. Guess what happens when you assume? You freeze your bum off in an empty parking lot with two cranky kids in the back when you could of been sleeping in in your warm bed. Good times, eh?
*by the by, my MIL is hilarious and a great sport. she didn't miss a beat & bantered right back at me. and i loved it.